Thirteen Ghosts

Monday, October 22, 2001

Sometime in the last year or so, motion picture studios have made the bold step of explaining what caused the MPAA to give the films the ratings they did. Underneath an average "R" Rating, you may see such creative reasons as "Western Violence" or "Explicit Situations." And, while "Pervasive Drug Use" may be enough to keep away the CAP crowd, it would stand to reason that it has the (possibly) unexpected side effect of drawing in all those who want to know exactly how much drug use has to be portrayed in a film for it to be considered "pervasive."

So it was really only a matter of time before one of the studios realized that by playing up all the non-family friendly aspects of their film, as determined by a fair and non-biased (chortle) orgnization like the MPAA (smirk), they could get some extra street cred among their audience.

One of the TV spots for the upcoming William Castle remake Thirteen Ghosts does just that. Instead of the voice over guy reading something like "In a land where houses were made of glass and scary monsters...," he simply reads the disclaimer, informing people that the MPAA has determined that Thirteen Ghosts contains Horror Violence and Gore, Nudity, and "Some Language" (The rest of the film, we presume, is naught but screaming) If there are words besides Gore, Violence, and Nudity that draw horror fans to the movie theatres, I don't know what they are.

Rating: A (It's About Time)

Reviewed by Padgett Arango
Contents
The Hills Have Eyes 2

Hostel Part II

Six Degrees

Shark

Jericho

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Justice

The Hills Have Eyes

Love Monkey

Out of Practice

Head Cases

Crunchwrap Supreme

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Batman Begins

Garden State

Hero

13 Going On 30

LAX

Starman

quirkyalone.net

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Line of Fire

We Shall All Be Healed

Happy Family

Arrested Development

Love Actually

A Minute with Stan Hooper

Tarzan

Karen Sisco

Stop All the World Now

Cold Case

Skin

10-8

Joan of Arcadia

Eve

Luis

Lost In Translation

House of 1000 Corpses

Bubba Ho-Tep

Darkness Falls

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The Amazing Race

Treasure Island

FearDotCom

Adaptation

To Hit Armor Class Zero

Without A Trace

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Life With Bonnie

Jalapeņo Cheeseburger

The Mothman Prophecies

Happy Campers

The Man Who Wasn't There

Kiss of the Dragon

Josie & the Pussycats

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Dr. Pepper

Know By Heart

Waking Life

L.I.E.

Thirteen Ghosts

Earthlink presents Chang and Eng

New York and Country Bar

Change

Motivation and Water Tower Grammar

Crossing Philly

Makeout Club

Undeclared

The Gap

The Abolition of Work

3000 Miles to Graceland

Kolobos

Duets

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Diesel Sweeties

The Cold Six Thousand

The Grilled Stuft Burrito (Rebuttal)

60 Second Wipeout

The Patriot

Grilled Stuft Burrito

Cowgirls

Crystalline

Frankenfinger E.P.

One Force Down

Shake

Both Our Secrets

Happy Birthday Captain Columbus!

Fight Club

Whatever It Takes

Committed

That Skinny Motherfucker with the High Voice?

Joe Dirt

The Veggie Whopper

Taco Bell Nachos

Palmetto

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

The Terror of Mechagodzilla

To The Center

Infiniti+Infiniti

American Psycho

The Del Shredder

What Lies Beneath

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Bring It On

Chill Factor

Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars

Bad Company

The Blair Witch Project

Hyacinths and Thistles

Lake of Dracula

We'll Have a Time

Home Depot

Snow Day

The Virgin Suicides