Eve

Friday, October 31, 2003

As a result of compulsive viewing of America's Next Top Model over the summer, I had waaaay too much awareness of Eve before it aired, since promotional spots for it (along with All of Us and Rock Me Baby)aired continuously. Compared to those two shows, Eve looked, by far, to be the best of the bunch. And, sadly, it is.

Which is not to say Eve remotely resembles a good show. Whatever charisma and acting skills Eve displayed in Barbershop have mysteriously vanished, so either she had some incredibly good direction in Barbershop, or she is getting incredibly bad direction here. Matters are not helped by the additon of Jason George to the cast, who is perhaps the stagiest actor this side of Rebecca Pidgeon. For those of you who missed out on Platinum (which took last year's award for "Show That Comes Closest to Being Good Without Actually Being Good") Jason George played the uptight pair of brothers who run a record label. His incredible stiffness was balanced out by Sticky Fingaz' overly earnest, but incredibly unschooled, performances. It made for a fascinating opportunity to observe the full spectrum of bad acting, which, I guess, counts for something.

Here, Mr. George is up against Eve, who apparently has been told that "nervous" is the only emotion her character can possess. Even when chatting with her girlfriends. More amusing than actually watching the show is to pretend that the director is some greenhorn film school grad who read about WIlliam Friedkin's attempts to enhance the jitteryness of his actors on the set of The Exorcist and has taken to threatening Eve with a handgun throughout shooting. Except instead of firing it into the ceiling at random to make the cast properly twitchy, he keeps the gun perfectly trained at his leading lady at all times, thus explaining her inability to act relaxed.

My rule of thumb is that any time I invent stories to explain what's going on off-camera, the show is probably no good. So, I guess Eve is no good. End of story.

Rating: C- (Barely Passable)

Reviewed by Padgett Arango
Contents
The Hills Have Eyes 2

Hostel Part II

Six Degrees

Shark

Jericho

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Justice

The Hills Have Eyes

Love Monkey

Out of Practice

Head Cases

Crunchwrap Supreme

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Batman Begins

Garden State

Hero

13 Going On 30

LAX

Starman

quirkyalone.net

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Line of Fire

We Shall All Be Healed

Happy Family

Arrested Development

Love Actually

A Minute with Stan Hooper

Tarzan

Karen Sisco

Stop All the World Now

Cold Case

Skin

10-8

Joan of Arcadia

Eve

Luis

Lost In Translation

House of 1000 Corpses

Bubba Ho-Tep

Darkness Falls

Pirates of the Caribbean

The Amazing Race

Treasure Island

FearDotCom

Adaptation

To Hit Armor Class Zero

Without A Trace

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Life With Bonnie

Jalapeņo Cheeseburger

The Mothman Prophecies

Happy Campers

The Man Who Wasn't There

Kiss of the Dragon

Josie & the Pussycats

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Dr. Pepper

Know By Heart

Waking Life

L.I.E.

Thirteen Ghosts

Earthlink presents Chang and Eng

New York and Country Bar

Change

Motivation and Water Tower Grammar

Crossing Philly

Makeout Club

Undeclared

The Gap

The Abolition of Work

3000 Miles to Graceland

Kolobos

Duets

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Diesel Sweeties

The Cold Six Thousand

The Grilled Stuft Burrito (Rebuttal)

60 Second Wipeout

The Patriot

Grilled Stuft Burrito

Cowgirls

Crystalline

Frankenfinger E.P.

One Force Down

Shake

Both Our Secrets

Happy Birthday Captain Columbus!

Fight Club

Whatever It Takes

Committed

That Skinny Motherfucker with the High Voice?

Joe Dirt

The Veggie Whopper

Taco Bell Nachos

Palmetto

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

The Terror of Mechagodzilla

To The Center

Infiniti+Infiniti

American Psycho

The Del Shredder

What Lies Beneath

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Bring It On

Chill Factor

Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars

Bad Company

The Blair Witch Project

Hyacinths and Thistles

Lake of Dracula

We'll Have a Time

Home Depot

Snow Day

The Virgin Suicides