Earthlink presents Chang and Eng

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

I was riding the Big Blue Bus to work one morning and at the Sepulveda and Pico stop I saw an Earthlink billboard featuring the original Siamese twins, Chang and Eng. "GET LINKED" and "STAY CONNECTED" it said in black and pumpkiny-orange Earthlink fashion.

First I thought, "Clever! Hehehehe 'get linked' - good one, dude!" and then the frat boy police inside me kicked me in the head and said, "Stop that, you sicko!" And it was right to do so. What the heck was Earthlink trying to say?

"Use us and you and your friends and family can be just like these two people who were bought from the Thai government by a merchant who profitted from exhibiting them and then sold his rights to them to another merchant until they ended up in P.T. Barnum's freak show. Yes, you too can be shown off as chattel! Then you all can retire, become farmers, marry [that part sounds kinda interesting], have money problems, go back on tour, come back and have drinking problems and then die, two hours apart."

Oh yeah! I want to be so linked to friends and family that I want to share a liver with them through a piece of skin at our chests, I never want to know a moment's peace, and I can never be disconnected else I'll die!

Ok, maybe I'm reading too much into it. At least Earthlink isn't AOL. Plus, who woulda thunk I knew so much about Chang and Eng?

(I still don't like the ad though.)

Rating: D ('cause I thought it was clever at first)

Reviewed by Lane Vanderveen
Contents
The Hills Have Eyes 2

Hostel Part II

Six Degrees

Shark

Jericho

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Justice

The Hills Have Eyes

Love Monkey

Out of Practice

Head Cases

Crunchwrap Supreme

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Batman Begins

Garden State

Hero

13 Going On 30

LAX

Starman

quirkyalone.net

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Line of Fire

We Shall All Be Healed

Happy Family

Arrested Development

Love Actually

A Minute with Stan Hooper

Tarzan

Karen Sisco

Stop All the World Now

Cold Case

Skin

10-8

Joan of Arcadia

Eve

Luis

Lost In Translation

House of 1000 Corpses

Bubba Ho-Tep

Darkness Falls

Pirates of the Caribbean

The Amazing Race

Treasure Island

FearDotCom

Adaptation

To Hit Armor Class Zero

Without A Trace

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Life With Bonnie

Jalapeņo Cheeseburger

The Mothman Prophecies

Happy Campers

The Man Who Wasn't There

Kiss of the Dragon

Josie & the Pussycats

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Dr. Pepper

Know By Heart

Waking Life

L.I.E.

Thirteen Ghosts

Earthlink presents Chang and Eng

New York and Country Bar

Change

Motivation and Water Tower Grammar

Crossing Philly

Makeout Club

Undeclared

The Gap

The Abolition of Work

3000 Miles to Graceland

Kolobos

Duets

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Diesel Sweeties

The Cold Six Thousand

The Grilled Stuft Burrito (Rebuttal)

60 Second Wipeout

The Patriot

Grilled Stuft Burrito

Cowgirls

Crystalline

Frankenfinger E.P.

One Force Down

Shake

Both Our Secrets

Happy Birthday Captain Columbus!

Fight Club

Whatever It Takes

Committed

That Skinny Motherfucker with the High Voice?

Joe Dirt

The Veggie Whopper

Taco Bell Nachos

Palmetto

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

The Terror of Mechagodzilla

To The Center

Infiniti+Infiniti

American Psycho

The Del Shredder

What Lies Beneath

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Bring It On

Chill Factor

Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars

Bad Company

The Blair Witch Project

Hyacinths and Thistles

Lake of Dracula

We'll Have a Time

Home Depot

Snow Day

The Virgin Suicides