10-8

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Most years, something ends up on the fall TV schedule that makes you say "How, exactly, did this end up on TV? Aren't TV execs paid ungodly sums of cash to prevent this sort of thing from entering my living room? What in the hell got into the Burbank water supply?" In most circumstances, 10-8 would elicit these sorts of questions, but I think I've got this one all figured out.

End of last season, ABC was looking at Dragnet and saying to itself, "Man, that was a flop! Can this show be saved?" Two executives (let's call them Bubba and Chip) both came up with brilliant ideas.

Bubba was all pleased with his idea. "How about this?" Bubba said. "Instead of doing a boring police procedural drama, let's do a TV version of the 1987 Dragnet movie."

"The one with Tom Hanks and Dan Ackroyd?" asked the executive.

"The very one."

"But that was a spoof. Of Dragnet."

"Exactly. And people loved it. So, instead of doing a straight remake of the old radio and TV drama, we'll do a parody thereof."

"Thereof?"

"Yeah."

"You went to college, didn'tcha?"

"Yes."

"College boy. Get out of my office."

"Wait, wait. I've got..."

"OUT!"

And so Bubba crawled away, bearing with him the shame of rejection.

Then Chip entered the mighty executive's office.

"So, here's my idea. We do the exact same show, but we call it L.A. Dragnet."

"I'm listening"

"People love Los Angeles. I think people just didn't realize our show was set there."

"Good point."

"And we get rid of Ethan Embry!"

"Who?"

"Exactly."

The executive laughed and Chip knew he had a winner of an idea.

Bubba, though, couldn't bear to let his brilliant idea slip away. He forged the executive's signature on a production order, and promptly went into business shooting his version of Dragnet. "It will be shot in Los Angeles! And funny! But also serious! And violent! And they'll talk about sex! And farting! Who doesn't love fart jokes? And it'll be about the Sherriff's Department. Except, they'll have jurisdiction everywhere in the city, not just in unincorporated areas! They'll be above the law! Eagle Rock? Santa Monica? All Sherriff's Dept. territory! I'll show those uppity LAPD boys. Mwuahahahahaa!"

So, if you have the misfortune to find yourself watching 10-8, just remember Bubba. Then it'll all make sense. And if you see Bubba on the street, smack him for me, would you?

Rating: C- (Bonus points for shooting in Northeast Los Angeles)

Reviewed by Padgett Arango
Contents
The Hills Have Eyes 2

Hostel Part II

Six Degrees

Shark

Jericho

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Justice

The Hills Have Eyes

Love Monkey

Out of Practice

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Crunchwrap Supreme

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Batman Begins

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Hero

13 Going On 30

LAX

Starman

quirkyalone.net

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Line of Fire

We Shall All Be Healed

Happy Family

Arrested Development

Love Actually

A Minute with Stan Hooper

Tarzan

Karen Sisco

Stop All the World Now

Cold Case

Skin

10-8

Joan of Arcadia

Eve

Luis

Lost In Translation

House of 1000 Corpses

Bubba Ho-Tep

Darkness Falls

Pirates of the Caribbean

The Amazing Race

Treasure Island

FearDotCom

Adaptation

To Hit Armor Class Zero

Without A Trace

8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Life With Bonnie

Jalapeņo Cheeseburger

The Mothman Prophecies

Happy Campers

The Man Who Wasn't There

Kiss of the Dragon

Josie & the Pussycats

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Dr. Pepper

Know By Heart

Waking Life

L.I.E.

Thirteen Ghosts

Earthlink presents Chang and Eng

New York and Country Bar

Change

Motivation and Water Tower Grammar

Crossing Philly

Makeout Club

Undeclared

The Gap

The Abolition of Work

3000 Miles to Graceland

Kolobos

Duets

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Diesel Sweeties

The Cold Six Thousand

The Grilled Stuft Burrito (Rebuttal)

60 Second Wipeout

The Patriot

Grilled Stuft Burrito

Cowgirls

Crystalline

Frankenfinger E.P.

One Force Down

Shake

Both Our Secrets

Happy Birthday Captain Columbus!

Fight Club

Whatever It Takes

Committed

That Skinny Motherfucker with the High Voice?

Joe Dirt

The Veggie Whopper

Taco Bell Nachos

Palmetto

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

The Terror of Mechagodzilla

To The Center

Infiniti+Infiniti

American Psycho

The Del Shredder

What Lies Beneath

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Bring It On

Chill Factor

Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars

Bad Company

The Blair Witch Project

Hyacinths and Thistles

Lake of Dracula

We'll Have a Time

Home Depot

Snow Day

The Virgin Suicides