Redo the Hustle

Today Kung Fu Hustle hits stores again in a special "Axe-Kicking Edition" DVD. The original U.S. release removed or digitally altered several shots, mostly containing blood; this new version replaces those, but doesn't offer much in the special features department.

By comparison, other regions have done more impressive special editions of Kung Fu Hustle:

R2 - keychain, playing cards, sweatband, inflatable axe
R3 - leather case, Stephen Chow's signature and (film-related) handprint, photo album, and instructional Kung Fu booklet
R6 - Stephen Chow figurine

Stephen Chow discussed interest in a Kung Fu Hustle sequel from about the time the first was released. It was a box office smash, becoming the top-grossing film in Hong Kong history. This didn't go unnoticed - Kung Fu Mahjong reteamed Qiu Yuen and Wah Yuen (the Landlady and Landlord) to some success, and has already finished off a full trilogy. Kung Fu Fighter also cast a handful of Kung Fu hustlers to capitalize on the success of the film.

Chow put KFH 2 on hold to work on sci-fi comedy A Hope, which has finished shooting. Kung Fu Hustle 2 is set for 2008, so hopefully he'll have time to work on it before he reports to the U.S. to play Kato in Seth Rogen's upcoming Green Hornet flick. It's not a done deal, but given Chow's comedic sensibilities, interest in playing to an American audience, and reverence for classical martial artists (and few martial artists could pass up a chance to play a role Bruce Lee took on), it seems rather up his alley.

8 3/4

Fellini's 8 1/2 has been responsible for its share of inspirations. The story of a filmmaker in creative and personal turmoil, it's not surprising it would strike a chord with troubled moviemakers, and so we have Stardust Memories and other less homagey parallels, e.g. All That Jazz.

Half an integer later, Nine, a musical adaptation of 8 1/2 produced on Broadway in 1982. It won five Tony awards and had revivals in 1992, 1996,and 2003.

Soon (let's say 2008), a film adaptation, written by Michael Tolkin and helmed by choreographer-turned-director Rob Marshall. No word on casting yet; the lead role has been played onstage by Raul Julia, Bert Convy, Sergio Franchi, Jonathan Pryce, Antonio Banders, and, of course, John Stamos.

max. Shrek

The Shrek series is one of the most merchandised and cross-promoted in memory (the first DVD release was promoted with Burger King; by part 3 we had Shrek McFlurries at McDonald's, ads for Hewlett-Packard, Shrek Go-Gurt and Go-Tarts, boxed Shrekaroni and Cheese, and dozens more - to the point that the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood organized a complaint against the meaty ogre's image being used simultaneously by the Department of Health and Human Services for fitness-related public service announcements* and to sell French Toast sticks.

*Though HSS did yank the ads temporarily to avoid being seen as advertising a current film, an issue similar to that of the Fantastic Four quarter.

This summer certainly seems to be one of the most merchandised - beyond the obvious Transformers and Bratz toy sales, the width of promotion seems much greater, particularly for the big three: Spider-Man, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Shrek. A walk down your local cereal aisle should confirm this.

Like Spider-Man, in an effort to achieve maximum Shrek, this franchise too will be brought to Broadway. Announced back in 2004, it's been mentioned for a release as early as 2008, though official word is still simply "in development."

Writing the score is David Yazbek, no stranger to the adaptation scene - he wrote music and lyrics for the musical version of The Full Monty in 2000, as well as the musicalization of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

Shrek 4 is planned for 2010. Shrek the Halls will come to TV in the winter.

Lemon

The comic book movie boom is old news. Here's the next thing: Spidey sings (Evanescence guest shot pictured, left).

Spider-Man in development as a Broadway musical.

Director is Julie Taymor, stage and film director known for another film-to-musical: the Broadwayization of The Lion King. Her filmed Beatlesian musical Across the Universe opens in September.

Music is being worked on by Bono and The Edge, of U2. As far as I know, their superhero-music experience is limited to their minor hit on the Batman Forever soundtrack.

The timeline is uncertain, but it's past the conceptualization stage, with auditions already underway.

The musical It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's Superman ran about four months in 1966, near the halfway point between the successes of the TV show and movie relaunch. The show has been revived for special performances in New York and Los Angeles this year.

With so many odd adaptations hitting the stage, people are clearly willing to be somewhat ironic about their viewing options at what was once called the legitimate theater; the flooding of the market with comic movies has made properties like Blade accessible enough concepts for showgoers who don't know the name Marv Wolfman. Superhero musical theater, the next trend?

Let's hear it for the boy

It was a trick question: the next movie-to-musical up for remake is Footloose.

Directed by choreographer-turned-director Kenny Ortega, whose sequel work as director is basically Cheetah Girls 2, High School Musical 2, Cheetah Girls 3, and High School Musical 3 (all in various stages of pre- to post-production), the flick is set for 2009.

Guided by choreographer-turned-director and musical specialist Herbert Ross, the original Footloose hit big in 1984, to the tune of $80 million on an $8m budget.

The musical ran on Broadway from 1998 through 2000, garnering a handful of Tony nominations. It was revived in England in 2004 and has run successfully in a handful of productions since.

Lead role in the remake goes to Zac Efron, coincidentally enough one of the the High School Musical leads. Efron is currently appearing in the Hairspray remake.

Call it a hunch.

Man, I wish I hadn't just used that Blob: The Musical photo.A parallel to John Waters and Hairspray: Mel Brooks' The Producers, another progression from movie (1968) to musical (2001) to movie of musical (2005). It follows a particularly similar arc: world tour and financial success (twice setting the all-time theatre box-office record for largest single day sales), though it took four years instead of five for the musical to be turned into a movie. As with Hairspray and Cry-Baby, its success prompted the Bialystocks of the world to set the next installment in motion.





Young Frankenstein will premiere in Seattle on August 7th and have its proper Broadway premiere in early November. The role of Dr. Frankenstein goes to Roger Bart (this guy).

The 2005 Producers movie flopped theatrically, but made its money back on DVD. It seems likely we can expect the new Young Frankenstein movie 2011 or so.

Next movie-to-musical to go back to movie? Here are some possibilities:

Legally Blonde: 2001 movie, 2007 musical.
Evil Dead: 1981 movie, 2006 musical.
Silence of the Lambs: 1991 movie, 2004 musical.
Carrie: 1976 movie, 1988 musical.
Solder of Orange: 1977 movie, 2007 musical (upcoming to the Netherlands).
Turkish Delight: 1973 movie, 2006 musical (Netherlands).
Desperately Seeking Susan: 1985 movie, half a dozen Blondie songs in a 2007 musical, upcoming.

Gwoemul America

Today we finally get the DVD release (in single and 2-disc editions) of Gwoemul/The Host, Bong Joon-ho's terrific genre mishmash, political statement, and glimpse of human nature, all in the guise of a rampaging mutant frog-fish.

Editorial comment aside - of which there could be much for this wonderful film - the business of this blog is remake and sequel, and The Host is lined up for both. Released on July 27, 2006, the flick became South Korea's all-time box-office champ in early September. By the end of the month, the bidding war was in full swing, and by the first day or two in November, Universal emerged as the victor. No director or casting has been announced.

As a side note, this is all the debunking needed for the occasionally reappearing theory of 'Cloverfield = Host remake.' Even if you could work the Slusho story into the Host storyline on the undersea mutation angle, with Cloverfield at Paramount, strike that theory out.

Chungeorahm Films, a Korean distributor turned production house in 2004, has announced that a Host sequel is also in the works, tentatively set for 2009. Bong Joon-ho will not direct. The film will be an all-Korean production, meaning that the various international effects houses who played a part in the first film's success will not return. The monster is expected to return.

Cecil B. DaMusical

John Waters went mainstream in 1988 with Hairspray, a big PG-rated step from his last, the R-rated Polyester (which was itself a sizeable step from Desperate Living), in 1981.

In 2002, the Hairspray musical hit Broadway. A hit, it toured the country, won eight Tony awards out of thirteen nominations, and will open in England in October. On Friday, the movie of the musical of the movie opened well with $27.8 million. Helmed by choreographer-turned-director Adam Shankman (sequel work: Cheaper by the Dozen 2), reviews are generally positive. It should be clear where this is going.

Waters' second mainstream flick was Cry-Baby in 1990. After Hairspray's success as a musical, the conversion efforts began, and the musical will premiere in La Jolla in November. Presumably we can expect a movie of the musical a few years down the road.

Next to hit B'way, by pattern, should be Serial Mom, but a Pink Flamingos musical would be a bigger story and get much more press. All of this poses the two-pronged question: How well could Pink Flamingos clean up?

The Next Day

Looks exciting!"They want to do 'Murder By Decree' but I won't let them..."

After mentioning the scrapped, borrowed, and scrapped status of a Deathdream remake, a short note on the other Bob Clark remake projects.

Clark, along with his son Ariel, was killed by a drunk driver on April 4th. Days before, he had participated in a enlightening and entertaining roundtable of directors, hosted by Quentin Tarantino, to discuss filmmaking on the eve of Grindhouse's release.

Glen Morgan's remake of Clark's seminal 1974 Black Christmas came out on Christmas last year. It was critically panned and opened poorly, ending up with a take of about $16 million on a $9m budget.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things was Clark's own project, re-envisioning his first major film. It had been well into the pre-production stages, with scripting and some preliminary casting done (Adam Beach was set to lead).

Howard Stern's production company announced plans to remake Porky's in 2002, with teen sex comedies back on the rise thanks to American Pie. The script has gone through numerous drafts and has been reannounced from time to time. Officially, it's still in the works.

Porky's spawned two sequels and a videogame.

Date, mate, re-animate.

Of Herbert West, who was my friend in college and in after life, I can speak only with extreme terror.

By far the most successful H.P. Lovecraft filmic treatment is Re-Animator. Cthulhu plays better to the pen-and-paper RPG set, the videogame arena, the internet avatar business, stuffed toy merchandising, etc., but attempts to put him on film have been questionable, with the possible exception of the well-regarded 2005 Call of Cthulhu silent film made by the HPL Historical Society.

Herbert West, by contrast, appeared in Stuart Gordon's immortal 1985 Re-Animator and started a franchise, thanks in large part to Jeffrey Combs' committed performance. Battling for release without an MPAA rating, Re-Animator only opened in 129 theaters, though it was still able to clear a little more than twice its $900K budget. Video rentals have kept it alive for two decades, and there's still interest - Anchor Bay released a new special edition a couple months ago, complete with chartreuse syringe highlighter and new retrospective featurette.

1990's Bride of Re-Animator is better than one might expect; Beyond Re-Animator eventually came along in 2003. Neither would tear up the charts, but both are tolerated on the continuing merits of Combs' performance and generally game contributions all around. The second and third installments were helmed by Brian Yuzna, Gordon's compatriot and producer of Re-Animator.

Yuzna has announced plans to reunite Combs with Re-Animator co-stars Bruce Abbott and Barbara Crampton for House of Re-Animator, aiming at 2008. Talk started a few years ago on the project, a political entry set in a thinly veiled Bush White House. West is called into service to help maintain an illusive façade of leadership for an administration whose leader no longer possesses a functional brain - i.e., the Veep is dead.

Sadly, it's taken a long time to get financing in place, and Bush/Cheney (William H. Macy/George Wendt) will be gone by the time it arrives, but its point should be clear enough. Depending on the success of House of Re-Animator (or, indeed, whether it actually gets made), Yuzna hopes to create a new Re-Animator trilogy. Re-Animator Unbound would follow, in which West 'would have his own fiefdom amidst a war zone.' Finally, Re-Animator Begins would incorporate some flashback scenes in telling of a post-traumatic West recreating his early experiments.

The horror filmmakers of the 1980s seem to be speaking up; witness also Joe Dante's Homecoming episode of Masters of Horror, with similar horror tones applied to political purpose moving from traditional subtext to explicit statement.

Homecoming, in turn, draws inspiration from 1974's Deathdream, Bob Clark's Monkey's Paw-inspired tale of a soldier returning from Vietnam. Remake rights were optioned by Eli Roth and Oliver Hudson in 2005, but that version seems to have dropped off the radar. A remarkably similar plotline had been in the works under the title Zero Dark Thirty, but a June report claims it was scrapped.

Combs would re-team with Stuart Gordon, Re-Animator co-writer Dennis Paoli (contracted by Yuzna for the Dagon script in 1985, though it would take sixteen years to reach fruition), and actors Barbara Crampton and Carolyn Purdy-Gordon (a Stuart Gordon mainstay for reasons which should be apparent even beyond Gordon's loyalty to actors and crew) for the delightfully squirm-inducing From Beyond in 1986. It would meet with less financial success - clearing less than Re-Animator in theaters on five times the budget - but maintain a following among loose-HPL-adaptation fans and gorehounds throughout the horror-rental-happy 80s.

Long a high-priced VHS rarity, From Beyond will make its North American DVD debut September 11, in an unrated director's cut. Often enough this is meaningless marketing, but Gordon was forced to cut over a minute of footage to receive an R in 1986, so this actually represents a legitimate restoration of the director's vision. It's almost enough to forgive the cover art. I'm as glad as anyone that it's coming along, but this thing looks like Lawnmower Man joined Lacuna Coil and they put out an EP. Compare the original art and consider which is more evocative of indescribable otherworldly horrors...

Enter the Dagon

I come to bury Cthulhu, not to raise him.
We will not be debunking the Cthulhu/Cloverfield connection. There's no connection to debunk. There's no proof it's not Cthulhu, although it's not Cthulhu.

The initial Cthulhu connection came from the now-debunked Ethan Haas angle. There was something to it, loosely - talk of elder things and wars from the stars and such:

...and among them walked the ancients and those whose thoughts were not as to the towers and the marvels, but to the End and the destruction of the Earth and to the fires from which nothing could escape.

It's not out of line to think that sounds like the crawling chaos of Lovecraft's end times, though it's hardly conclusive. In any case, with the Ethan Haas material disavowed, there's very little to call Cthulhu up, other than a sizeable dose of internet wish-fulfillment that seems to have carried over from the initial Cloverfield moments when anything seemed possible.

There is some Lovecraftian content in the Slusho history (our only viable text of potential creature origin). The history tells of:


  • -Noriko Yoshida, passing up usual pursuits in favor of unceasing scientific pursuit.

  • -Said scientific pursuits, unquenchable, lead to perilous ocean voyage from which there is no return.

  • -Descendant takes up scientific pursuit.

  • -Scientist contacted in dreams by oceanic creature.

  • -Following instruction from nonrational plane, scientist follows new experiment and is transformed into a new being.

  • -Scientist begins process of bringing transformation to the world.


So Slusho/Cloverfield is Lovecraftian, but not Lovecraft.

On remake topic, the latest Lovecraft re-do is the upcoming Cthulhu (no release date, but premiered in June at the Seattle Film Festival). Cthulhu , from first-time filmmakers Dan Gildark and Grant Cogswell, is a name-changed loose adaptation of The Shadow Over Innsmouth (in which Cthulhu does not appear). In this way, it has a connection to Lovecraft maestro Stuart Gordon's 2001 Dagon, also not an adaptation of the story with the same name, but rather another loose telling of The Shadow Over Innsmouth.

The Cthulhu flick has been gaining a lot of publicity (and may have an easier time finding distribution) as would-be debunkers point out that Cloverfield can't be Cthulhu since there's already a Cthulhu movie coming out. Ownership of Lovecraft's writing is tricky, though, with much of it considered public domain, and the Lovecraft estate (such as it is) generally allowing writers to use it freely.

More Lovecraft news to come...

Angela is having a party.

Another DVD release note: for the first time, the curiously missing Night of the Demons 2, set for late September. It's not a major title, but with the less appreciated part 3 on DVD (if not currently in print), it's odd that part 2 never saw DVD.

The Night of the Demons series is a fine example of its subgenre: teenagers (sometimes Catholic schoolgirls), overnight sojourns in abandoned buildings (a funeral parlor and two large houses) Linnea Quigley, nudity, gore, demons, inventive practical effects (it's impossible to have a Night of the Demons discussion without someone bringing up one particular scene) and the bonus of a villain who stayed for all three flicks. Angela was portrayed by Amelia Kinkade, a fact not mentioned anywhere in the official bio on her website. Perhaps her demon-channeling days opened up some neural pathways: Amelia Kinkade is now an author, international speaker, and animal communicator.

Sgt. Oddball

A happy birthday to Donald Sutherland!

In trying not to segue too harshly from Cloverfield, we'll remain on the topic of uncertain science fiction threats by pointing to the upcoming (September 11) 2-DVD special edition of Sutherland's starring turn in 1978's Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake. Often cited as one of the better remakes (along with this blog's namesake flick), Philip Kaufman's 1978 film doesn't improve on the original, doesn't make major changes, just transposes it from a 1950s style of science fiction to a 1970s style, something along the lines of McCarthy paranoia to Nixon paranoia. Both work.

The new disc may or may not be worth upgrading, depending on one's opinion on featurettes - the old DVD contains the Kaufman commentary track, "Pod Culture" retrospective, and theatrical trailer. The new version adds special effects, sound effects, and cinematography featurettes, and a "Re-Visitors from Outer Space" featurette with new interviews.

Sutherland would revisit similar material in 1994, co-starring in an adaptation of Heinlein's The Puppet Masters. The source material is different (the 1951 novel predates Jack Finney's 1954 publication of Invasion) but both deal with alien invaders posing as human.

Leaving aside the remake/adaptation relevance for a brief summary appreciation, Donald Sutherland has played Christ, a stewardess (if anyone can explain this, please do), nine doctors, four Sergeants, a Corporal, two Colonels, Fortinbras, a Lord, four Captains, two Fathers, two Reverends, two Lieutenants and the corpse of a third, Homer Simpson, the Clumsy Waiter, a Professor, a General, a Major General, two judges, a customs agent, Gauguin, and countless civilians. He has never played Kent Tekulve, though in my younger days I often hoped he would.
Happy birthday!

Quetzalcoatl

Working backwards: D-War (D for dragon) is scheduled for Korean release on August 2nd and U.S. release on September 14th. The flick was announced in 2002 and shot in 2004 at sizeable cost - $70 million (mammoth for a Korean film) is most often quoted, though some cite startup costs for the filmmakers' new production company as responsible for roughly half that total. The flick features various dragons and beasties laying waste to downtown Los Angeles. It's mostly in English, made with American actors as a sop to the international market. To that end, original title Imoogi (named for the folkloric snake so prominently featured) was scrapped in favor of something a little more distributor-friendly.

If this all sounds familiar, note the director: Shim Hyung-rae. D-War is the next ambitious project from Shim, dwarfing the record-setting budget for Yonggary (see previous post).

Trailers are up at the movie's website. They boast a lot of creatures, some questionable dialogue, and one colossal Imoogi rendered in loving Anaconda-grade computer graphics. The whole thing looks pretty silly, although Cloverfield madness seems to indicate a willing American hunger for ravenous ravenous reptiles or other oversized beasts.

One last note to bring it all around. Having established Shim Hyung-rae's willingness to adapt earlier material (specifically, to remake a knockoff), one might be forgiven for thinking the Imoogi resembled something else.

Looking back to the golden age: 1963 brought Toho's release of Kaitei Gunkan ("Undersea Battleship," or Atragon in the U.S.). The Atragon (originally Gotengo in Japanese, or "roaring heaven,") was a superpowered submarine in this underwater science-fiction flick, along the lines of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. While it wasn't really a monster flick, the contemporary vogue for giant creatures had producers calling for the addition of at least one monster to hook the public, and so we saw the first appearance of a monster serpent called Manda. Of course giant serpents weren't a 1963 innovation, but knowing Shim's proclivities, you have to wonder.

I'll leave you with something to consider.


Manda's second appearance, in Destroy All Monsters

Reptilian

This picture of Korean kids chucking rocks at Yonggary is one of my favorite things.Created by comic-turned-director/producer Shim Hyung-rae, 1999's 2001 Yonggary (Reptilian for the U.S. market) was rumored at the time to be the highest-budgeted film in Korean history, estimated in the $10 million area. It was made with American actors, with an eye toward international distribution after its inevitable local success.

Exact box office figures are tricky to find, but with a bit over half a million tickets sold, Yonggary placed sixth in 1999 out of Korean films; if we include imports, it drops well out of sight. By way of comparison, the leader was the smash hit Shiri, with almost 2.5 million tickets. The Mummy (the American remake) brought in about half that many viewers, with homegrown comedy hit Attack the Gas Station selling about a million tickets.


Timed to capitalize on the 1998 American Godzilla, 2001 Yonggary is true to its roots; as one might surmise from the title, it's a remake. 1967's Taekoesu Yonggary (US title Yongary, Monster from the Deep) was Korea's take on the kaiju phenomenon, the breed of Japanese monster movie kickstarted in 1954 by Gojira. Specifically, Yonggary has much in common with 1965's Gamera, down to the creature's tie to a human kid, though the monster design owes more to Gamera's own precursor. By 1965, Toho had released five successful Godzilla flicks, and rival studio Daiei wanted a piece of the action. Gamera was a success, and had Korea thinking about bringing along its own version. Daiei followed the first Gamera with a flick a year for the next six years. He would return in 1980, again for a trio of flicks in the mid-90s, and again in 2006, along with a proposed Cartoon Network series. Yonggary would meet with less success, disappearing after his initial appearance until Shim Hyung-rae revived him to disappointing results. Can this be the end of Yonggary?

Beware of The B.L.O.B.

Happy Friday the 13th! On this, the occasion of Blobfest 2007 (check it out if you're in Phoenixville, PA, where the flick was shot), a look at the upcoming remake of The Blob - Cloverfield or not.

The film's been in production stages for a few years. The last known script, by brothers Chad and Carey Hayes (2005 House of Wax remake) was discussed on their promotional interviews for The Reaping. The Hayes guys actually use the phrase "it's got major attitude" to describe their Blob, pitching the flick as a horror-comedy and detailing several scenes of increasing wackiness (blob vs. people vs. sharks?).

The project was put on hold when producer Scott Rudin left Paramount for Disney; some claim that the it was then free for J.J. Abrams to pick up.

Some sticking points: the Blob never caused any explosions. The Hayes' wacky script addresses this; their Blob is a B.L.O.B., a Biological Lethal Organic Bomb (not to be confused with biological-but-inorganic). This would explain explosive capability as seen in the Cloverfield trailer.

The new movie is still up on IMDb as B.L.O.B. (2009).

Despite the blob-bomb possibility, there's not much to indicate a blobby angle. The Slusho story, nautical theme and mystery ingredient don't gel with any of the Blob's established origins, either the Hayes' secret military project (apparently they missed Chuck Russell's 1988 remake) or its interstellar origins.

The Cloverfield monster is being referred to as "the parasite." Though the Blob is once referred to as a parasite in the 1958 version, its behavior isn't really parasitic. It consumes humans, but there's no symbiosis; the humans are immediately killed. It's a predator-prey relationship instead.

Perhaps the strongest evidence against a Blob theory: the Blob is a blob, and blobs tend to lack the physiological requirements for certain behaviors, i.e.: Blobs don't roar, as heard in the trailer.

Okay, the 1988 Blob roars, but this is best described as an oversight. Russell & co. got a little carried away with design elements, as when the Blob forms into a large mouth - obviously not a necessary technique for a creature that consumes through absorption. The shark in Jaws: The Revenge roared too.

Tohofield

Though the last few posts continually railed against the Godzilla theory, it's still worth pointing out (nobody else seems to have mentioned it) that the first name used in the Slusho story, Noriko Yoshida, is the writer of a film called Nada Sô Sô (English title Tears For You), released last year by Toho.

Toho is a big company with much more than Gojira on its roster, and Noriko and Yoshida are common enough names. Still, a little something for the Cloverfield conspiracy theorists (or to back the King Ghidorah theory).

Alternately, perhaps it's time for a new angle on the Toho side. The Slusho story tells of a small sea creature becoming a giant sea creature. Noriko Yoshida's father's name is given as Ryouta, which happens to be the name of the lead character in 1966's Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, aka:

Ebirah, Terror of the Deep.

Ebi means shrimp.

Our new front-runner?

Cloverfield Stuff

From the History page at the Slusho site:

He decided he would make his mother's dream live - make the tastiest drink, unlike anything on earth! Because the ingredient was discovered on the deep ocean floor, under amazing pressure and the most extreme cold, Ganu knew he had to serve the ingredient in a near-frozen state to preserve its freshness!

He re-joined with his cousin, and combining the incredible drink-making knowledge of Noriko's business with the new ingredient, SLUSHO! came to life!!!!!!!

Everyone who drinks a SLUSHO! tastes Noriko's dream, and becomes a small whale like Noriko - because you just want to drink huge amounts of SLUSHO!

BET YOU CAN'T DRINK JUST SIX!!!



  • Delicious mystery ingredient, harvested from below the earth's surface?

  • Consumable, with possible addictive properties?

  • Served chilled?

  • Parasite?



I'd like to be the first to posit that Cloverfield is:

A remake of Larry Cohen's classic The Stuff.

As for destruction raining from the stars, I can only offer this evidence:

Monster Zero

Additional rebuttal of the Cloverfield = Godzilla theory: while Sony did sign a three-picture Godzilla deal with Toho, the series had to continue within a five-year span. With the tanking of the 1998 Godzilla redesign, Sony decided to hold off, make some money off a Saturday morning cartoon series and hope the merchandising picked up on the more child-friendly side. The flick made about $140 million in the United States; budget was estimated around $130 mil, though most reports seem to put it around $200m due to an enormous marketing presence (remember the Taco Bell chihuahua/Godzilla team-up ads?). The official website (which now links to the next upcoming Godzilla video game) and trailers kicked off a full year before the release date. Merchandising had been a serious disappointment, which, in hindsight, may have been inevitable with Sony's insistence on keeping Godzilla's image secret (posters, billboards, print and TV ads featured a lot of foot, tail, and eye close-ups).

In any case, near-universal name recognition brought the totals to about $375 million worldwide, and sequel talk (active leading up to the film) slowly began again. It got through the treatment stage, but producers squabbled with Sony over budget, and the project died. With Godzilla released in May of 1998, the five-year window expired in May of 2003, and rights reverted to Toho. This doesn't preclude the license being reacquired, but it seems unlikely that it could have been done in secrecy.

Of course, this isn't to say that Cloverfield couldn't be the King Ghidorah movie...

'The Legend Is Reborn'

Another reason Cloverfield isn't Godzilla: As of 2004's all-stops-out Godzilla: Final Wars, Toho, Godzilla's handlers, have decided to give the big fella a vacation of sorts - a five-to-ten year hiatus to avoid saturation and allow some time to rekindle interest in a relaunch. (The 3-D IMAX flick is more of a side project.)

This has happened before. After diminishing returns led to 1975's Terror of Mechagodzilla selling fewer than a million tickets (the lowest in Godzilla history), Toho set him aside for nearly a decade. He returned with a reboot in 1984's Gojira (his proper name and the name of the 1954 original), a film both remake and sequel. Gojira discards the interim films, acting as a direct sequel to 1954's Gojira (probably the first time a sequel has ever had the same name as the original film). While it does describe the continuity leading from the end of Gojira 1954 to the start of Gojira 1984, it acts more as remake. Gone are the team-ups, battles royale, and monster kids. Back are danger to innocent civilians and nuclear fear; 1984's Gojira continues - in explicit discussion - the nuclear themes of the original. Gojira is meaner, considerably larger (to remain proportionately looming over 30 years' worth of expanding Tokyo skyline), and back to his old city-stomping ways.

Also present: Dr. Pepper and Steve Martin. American audiences - who never understood the importance of the original, due to a heavily recut version featuring Raymond Burr in added scenes as American reporter Steve Martin - enjoyed Godzilla but didn't take him seriously. To this end, the American cut of Gojira, called Godzilla 1985, was a different flick, pruned and heavily re-edited, with ten minutes of new footage full of Dr. Pepper cans and the same sin as the 1950s edition: Raymond Burr, inserted to pepper the movie with plenty of English dialogue in a reprisal of his earlier role.

With Classic Media's recent stellar 2-disc special edition of Gojira (1954) including both Japanese and U.S. versions for critical comparison, the more thorough fans might like to compare the versions of the 1984/85 return. It's never been on DVD, and Lakeshore Entertainment (the rights holders) seem to have no plans.

Tomoyuki vs. Yoshimitsu

With at least some small percentage of the internet abuzz over Cloverfield - who knew audiences were so hungry for a ground-level giant-monster flick? - let's check in with the latest on our good friend Gojira.

An effort has been underway to bring Godzilla to a deserving format. To that end, Godzilla 3-D (fka Godzilla 3-D To The Max [yes, really], fka Godzilla vs. Deathla), has been in the planning stages since at least 2005. It's designed for IMAX 3-D, and at 40-45 minutes, might qualify more as a novelty than a true entry into the Godzilla series. The exciting part, though, comes with the details. Deathla is described as a chlorophyll-consuming monster (read: environmental message), and the writer (and according to some sources, co-director) is Yoshimitsu Banno, whose first film work was as assistant director to Akira Kurosawa on several major works (Macbeth, The Lower Depths, Hidden Fortress, The Bad Sleep Well). Aside from the little-seen (7 votes on IMDb) cartoon Ninja the Wonder Boy, this would mark Banno's first directorial effort since 1971, when he gave us the wooly 'n wonderful anti-pollution tale Godzilla vs. Hedorah, or Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster. Banno wanted to make a sequel immediately after, but producer Tomoyuki Tanaka - hospitalized during the filming - felt Banno's unorthodox flick had ruined the franchise. Banno would never make another film for Toho or, in fact, another feature at all until Ninja, fourteen years later.

In 2005, Toho gave Banno permission to make the film, but wouldn't fund it; since then, he's been seeking alternative investors. It's tentatively on track for a start date of February 2008.

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A WOPR

One flick that owes a direct debt to Colossus: The Forbin Project (and, like Colossus, to Dr. Strangelove and Fail-Safe) is the still-likeable WarGames, John Badham's 1983 favorite of human intelligence vs. supercomputer, the technological generation gap, and the constant jitters of the people in command.

Reported in 2005 as WarGames 2: The Deadly Key, then WarGames: The Dead Game, the sequel is now being called WarGames: The Dead Code and prepped for a 2007 direct-to-video release. Stuart Gillard (TMNT III) directs, with writing from Rob Kerchner (Bloodfist IV, V, VI, VII, The Unborn II, Caged Heat II) and Randall Badat.

The flick stars Matt Lanter (of Heroes and extensive TV work) and Nicolas Wright, both of whom have done work in the recent Fictionalized True Story Golf Drama subgenre: Lanter in 2004's Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius and Wright in 2005's The Greatest Game Ever Played. Also appearing are Colm Feore and the curiously named Maxim Roy.

A computer game spinoff was a natural for WarGames, arriving for the ColecoVision in 1984. Subsequent computer and PlayStation versions followed down the road, though the most successful version has been DEFCON, a recent PC hit with similar global thermonuclear gameplay.

Guardian of the galaxy

On the other side of futuristic robot intelligence remake news we have Colossus. 1970's terrific Colossus: The Forbin Project combines a little very plausible sci-fi futurism with a modest, almost stage-play setting for a tight political-thriller atmosphere. Writing is sharp and acting capable, and the film increases in tension as characters take a backseat to the mounting tête-à-tête between Forbin and Colossus.

For a technology-paranoia movie shot in 1970 (with loaner parts from IBM and CDC, who had implemented the first successful supercomputer in 1965, a year before the source novel was written), Colossus remains surprisingly current.

Regrettably, the current DVD available is a pan-&-scan affair, though a widescreen copy (from the original-format laserdisc) is available through less official channels.

The remake will expand on the original by including material from the two subsequent Colossus novels. Imagine Entertainment is calling it a 2010 release for now; Ron Howard is the favorite to direct.

Lights out

In patriotic (or at least military-training-themed) remake news, Taps, the post-minority but pre-female Citadel-scandals-in-the-news cadet academy flick that helped the nascent careers of Tom Cruise, Sean Penn, Timothy Hutton, and more significantly, Giancarlo Esposito, will receive a new treatment from Fox, set for 2009. No word on casting, but the director will be the lazy-scriptwriting-hitman-named Frank E. Flowers.

Producer is John Davis, also producing the upcoming Sims movie.

If Taps does well, can a Lords of Discipline remake be far behind?

Jobot Rocks

Today we acknowledge the bizarrely cast Transformers film (Jon Voight and John Turturro?) by noting the release of the delightfully titled Transmorphers on DVD. Transmorphers comes to us from The Asylum, a production company that's found its niche in making direct-to-video cheapie parody/ripoff/reference/trickery films to capitalize on major releases (the next is Invasion of the Pod People).

Transmorphers, to its credit, was shot as an independent property called Robot Wars (one might say "not to be confused with Robot Jox 2: Robot Wars," except that Asylum's twin-pronged attack consists of intellectual-property confusion and conflation, so presumably they would welcome it) and retitled Transmorphers for fairly obvious purposes.

Transformers sequel talk has been kicking into gear over the last week or so.

Sitting Spell

Checking in with some more Korean remakes, Byeong-ki Ahn edition. After his ghost story Nightmare was a hit in South Korea in 2000, Ahn followed it with three not-dissimilar supernatural thrillers: Phone, Bunshinsaba, and APT. There was some talk of a Phone remake, but nothing came of it. In mid-2005, the rights were sold for a U.S. remake of Bunshinsaba (English title Ouija Board), to be called The Spell. No reported developments since.