Beware of The B.L.O.B.

Happy Friday the 13th! On this, the occasion of Blobfest 2007 (check it out if you're in Phoenixville, PA, where the flick was shot), a look at the upcoming remake of The Blob - Cloverfield or not.

The film's been in production stages for a few years. The last known script, by brothers Chad and Carey Hayes (2005 House of Wax remake) was discussed on their promotional interviews for The Reaping. The Hayes guys actually use the phrase "it's got major attitude" to describe their Blob, pitching the flick as a horror-comedy and detailing several scenes of increasing wackiness (blob vs. people vs. sharks?).

The project was put on hold when producer Scott Rudin left Paramount for Disney; some claim that the it was then free for J.J. Abrams to pick up.

Some sticking points: the Blob never caused any explosions. The Hayes' wacky script addresses this; their Blob is a B.L.O.B., a Biological Lethal Organic Bomb (not to be confused with biological-but-inorganic). This would explain explosive capability as seen in the Cloverfield trailer.

The new movie is still up on IMDb as B.L.O.B. (2009).

Despite the blob-bomb possibility, there's not much to indicate a blobby angle. The Slusho story, nautical theme and mystery ingredient don't gel with any of the Blob's established origins, either the Hayes' secret military project (apparently they missed Chuck Russell's 1988 remake) or its interstellar origins.

The Cloverfield monster is being referred to as "the parasite." Though the Blob is once referred to as a parasite in the 1958 version, its behavior isn't really parasitic. It consumes humans, but there's no symbiosis; the humans are immediately killed. It's a predator-prey relationship instead.

Perhaps the strongest evidence against a Blob theory: the Blob is a blob, and blobs tend to lack the physiological requirements for certain behaviors, i.e.: Blobs don't roar, as heard in the trailer.

Okay, the 1988 Blob roars, but this is best described as an oversight. Russell & co. got a little carried away with design elements, as when the Blob forms into a large mouth - obviously not a necessary technique for a creature that consumes through absorption. The shark in Jaws: The Revenge roared too.